i jhust puked up my retainher.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
