i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
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