even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
