I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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