you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
