My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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