all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
even my farts smell like vagina
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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