margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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