yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
