Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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