I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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