I like my sex mixed with concussions.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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