I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
