hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
