Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
