Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
