i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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