were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
