hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize