I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
