There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
