I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
