Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
