Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
