Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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