Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
