I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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