I can tuck mytits in my pants
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
