kristin has been a bad kristin
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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