Apparently you make a good broom.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
