So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We are two peas in an std pod
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
