my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
