is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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