Small penises have feelings too.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there is glitter all over my balls
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