I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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