Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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