in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
