I didn't shave. On purpose
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
