The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
