the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
