I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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