just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
