I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize