I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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