May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
whose parrot is this?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
