Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize