Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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