please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
