Dual....:-)
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
