I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
