woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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