He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
