I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
