We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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