Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
