Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
