Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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